Aside

Happy First Month ๐ŸŽ‰

28th of May 2017

I still remember the feeling when I was writing my first blog post. It was surreal, yet hopeless.

I was so happy that I finally have a blog that I can call my own. But I was hopeless that I’ll even have followers — that I’ll even have readers. I actually thought of deleting my blog after that.

Looking back now, I’m glad I didn’t delete this. Or else, I’d never have a site where I’ll feel like I’m home.

But what if I did? Will I be this happy? No. This blog made me know the “Ryry” I never thought I’d become – a happier me.

A month ago, I thought I’d never see comments in this blog. So I want to acknowledge literally everyone who inspired me into pushing this blog to its initial success:

  • All I wanted was to have a blog. I stayed up all night searching for a free website but I couldn’t find the perfect one. And then I remembered the blog that I’ve read before (hidewaygirl.wordpress.com thanks so much) so I tried wordpress.com very doubtful and anxious. I told myself “You’ll never have a blog. Don’t assume this time or you’ll break your heart again.” But I didn’t listen to myself. Instead, I clicked the write button and the I wrote my very first blog post. And then I told myself “So what if you’ll never have followers? You just want a blog and now that you have one, you can’t demand for more.” because I didn’t want to break my heart.

 

  • Thirstythought (www.kryzuy.com) for being the first one to inspire me to become a blogger.

 

  • ChrissyAdventures for being the first one to leave a comment in this blog. Knowing your opinion about my post really inspired me to write more.

Now I’m smiling

 

  • To the amazing amazing people who constantly like my posts and binge into reading my posts and to the wonderful people who leave comment(s) in my posts. I know ya’ll are unaware of how much I value you: artgalblog, Clare Cramphorn, Just Betty, Cristian Mihai, ChrissyAdventures, Elm, Ella, freckledfacegirlblog, blacksans101, Mia, Chris Nicholas, darleneguerra, Linda, Little Fears, flawed_silence & Monika. You guys are truly amazing.

 

  • And to all my super cool followers, I don’t know why you follow me but Thank you so much. You make me so happy every time I wake up in the morning.

 

* * *

 

This is juts my first month. What about the second? The third? The first year? I guess we’re all gonna figure that out when the time comes. But for now, this is me sending all my love to all of you.

Some of you may think of this as a very little thing to celebrate about, but having a blog has been one of my biggest dreams. And now that I have one, can you blame me if I can’t contain my happiness?ย ๐Ÿ˜‰

Shoutout to all like meย ๐Ÿ˜Š

Aside

What a Girl’s Morning Should Be

Open your eyes,
Let the rays of sunshine
get in your sight.
The heat of happiness
longs for your embrace
Smile for today, it’s a lovely day.

 

Break free, be free.
Let your hair fly
as it cuddles the warm air.
Pour yourself a drink
and let your troubles sink.
No problems for today, it’s a lovely day.

 

Dance around the kitchen,
Let your voice sing the sound of glee
as it carries the grief out the window.
You deserve to be happy.
Blow a kiss in front of the mirror.
It’s a brand new day, a lovely day.

 

* * *

The photo version of this will be posted next!
Watch out xxx

Aside

To my real Superman ๐Ÿ‘จ

I wasn’t the best daughter in the world.

I was never the type who would always listen to what you say. I know I made mistakes and I sometimes make you mad but you never changed.

You’ll never change for me.

You are my favorite person in the world. I know I am yours too. ๐Ÿ™‚ I love you more than I love anybody. No one really understands me the way you do. So I am really thankful that I have you. (Idk why this rhymesย ๐Ÿ™„)

It’s so hard to live a day without you waking up in the morning. I know you have to leave for work and I only get to see you a few times a year. It’s really hard especially when your the only member of the family who allies with me. I just don’t let you guys know that I cry every time you leave. Because it means that I’m alone again and that I’m never going to do good again.

My best was never good enough for them.

But for you, even my little work makes you happy. You give me an incentive even if I don’t ask for it ๐Ÿ˜. You make me feel like I can do good things, too. That I’m not just a burden and that I’m important too.

I don’t know why even you’re a guy, you understand that I want to be like this or like that and you never stopped me from doing what I love, especially in pursuing my dreams. You don’t get mad at me when I tell you that I want to perform all over the world, model during summer, to buy me shoes like this or this kind of gadget. You get me. You just do and I feel so lucky knowing that there is actually someone who would use an overtime in his job just to make sure that he’s gonna get me the stuff I told him to buy for me.

You always cared for me. You didn’t see me grow but I swear I am me because I have you. (ew i’m crying) I wish I could’ve spent more time with you. I want to be with you but I can’t. Thank you for making me more mature by leaving me this way. Because every time you leave, my goal is to be a better daughter when you get back.

You really are my superman. I wouldn’t survive all the bumps in my life if you weren’t there to assure me that I’m going to be fine.

I really wish you didn’t have to leave so I can be happy each day. But I’m going to promise that I will stay the same and I will be your “panene” forever and always.

I love you, Papa! My superman, my daddy, my pops, my tatay, my ama, my amazing ally, my inspiration, my everythingย โค๏ธ

Happy Fathers’ Day to all Dads around the worldย ๐Ÿ’ž

Aside

A Letter from Yours Truly

Hi. You might or might not know me but I just want you to know that I’m not the best blogger that you’d know.

I love writing, a little bit too much than I wanted to. It’s my passion but maybe I’m not still “good” at it. So my apologies if my blog posts are sometimes so quirky and flawful. Like this one.

I have a different attack when it comes to writing especially in the English Language. I’m a Filipino and we’re not exactly taught how to speak English all the time. We have Oral Communication in SHS but an hour of learning each day is just not enough. So I learned English in my own way.

Our teacher told us that the most effective way of learning English is reading:
1. Read
2. Read
3. Read
4. Write
5. Speak

So I read. A LOT. But still, I am not good like the others, like the real writers out there.

I write because I love to write. It is how I express myself – my emotions, my opinions and my thoughts. When the world turns back at me, I turn to writing. I may not be as good as you want me to, but I love writing so I won’t stop doing what I love to do.

From yours truly, I may type some words that aren’t in the dictionary or construct a sentence that has wrong grammars in it, I want to tell you that I’m aware. I like learning. I blog because I want to help myself towards learning and grasping all the elements of writing that I have to know because I am so eager to learn. I believe that someday, I’ll be like you – a great great writer.

I have made new words that maybe only my head can understand but I included them in my posts because it’s the only way I know that I can fully express what I am feeling. I wish I know how to string all the best words to create the best writing piece of a 16-year-old girl like me but of course, I can’t have it at one leap. I have to take one step at a time to get there. I’m sure when I’m at the edge, I’m gonna make my biggest leap to the next level of writing.

Little by little, I know I’m going to improve. I know I can be a good writer too.

fgk

Yours Truly,
Ryry

Aside

Forgetting isn’t easy.

I’ve tried. Really, I’ve tried.

Maybe I’m not just good at it. I really tried to forget about Mr. Celebrity because I took Betty’s advice that I should live my life instead. But he’s been a part of my life for 3 years already. It’s hard to just push him aside just like that. I’ve tried everything, but nothing worked.

After all of my sacrifices:

  • I removed his pictures and logo in my bedroom. (I cut the logo into a heart shape then I cut it in half again. ๐Ÿ’”)
  • I deleted all his pictures and videos from my phone (not the music though ๐Ÿ˜ญ)
  • My personal journal which contains 50% of his pictures and our imaginary conversations and my writings about him, are now filled
    with black markers all over just to cross out his face and everything that reminds me of him.
  • I wrote words like “gay”, “cross-eyed”, “i hate u”, etc. on his pictures and I threw them all in the trash bin.
  • I deleted his birthday from my calendar.
  • I unfollowed him on twitter.

Seriously, you wouldn’t find any sign that I was fangirling for Mr. Celebrity before. I had nothing left. (But I didn’t edit my first blog posts which contains stuff like marrying him asdfghj)

Then, 1 week too late, I realized that I shouldn’t have done that to him. Hated him. Blamed him. NOOOO. He has no fault about what’s happening. I shouldn’t be blaming him. The fault’s on me, actually. I was the one who made my own reason to break my heart. Because he doesn’t know about any of these, he doesn’t even know me. (And while typing right now, I suddenly realized that my facebook cover photo is still our picture together which I edited so it looks real. ugh.)

I mean, I don’t want to go back to how I used to fangirl before because it’s really not normal. I created my new world (If you have read The Overactive Emotions of a fangirl you can relate to this). I just want to be happy. Mr. Celebrity makes me happy, so I figured I shouldn’t block him out of my life. It’s just not the same anymore when he’s gone. I just have to know my limitations.

Yes. I should have realised that before.

So I watched him on youtube again and that was when I felt so guilty. He has the nicest heart that made me so happy for 3 years and just for one click, I exchanged it for hatred. I wasn’t fair. Even if he’s not aware, my point is, I still wasn’t fair. Of course my next move after that was following him again on twitter.ย ๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ

I downloaded all those pictures and videos for almost 4 years and I just deleted it all in 10 minutes because of being such an overacting fangirl. My lovely journal which I promised to let my girlfriends see was just the worse because of those black sinful inks. (Well, they saw it and they said that I shouldn’t have done that.) I spent time and money editing those logos and pictures to print it and hang on my bedroom wall but I just heart-shaped and broke it.

Even if he doesn’t know, he doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. It’s all on me. The fault’s all on me.

I should have thought hard before doing things (but when you’re really hurt you don’t care about anything so you over react)

*Sad sigh* Forgetting isn’t easy, right? Trust me, I know.

If you’re reading this and you’re a fangirl, I am warning you right now: STOP YOURSELF FROM OVER FANGIRLING BEFORE IT’S TOO
LATE.

Make yourself happy because of your own Mr. Celebrity, but don’t ever ever ever break your heart the way I did with mine. I know I’m not the only depressed fangirl in the world and there are a lot of us (dunno if you’re reading this now) but maybe this is just me saying that forgetting isn’t easy so don’t make a reason for you to just force yourself to forget about him in the end. Because it’s not easy.

Obviously, it’s not easy.

This is not the end of my fangirl diaries though I’ve come to the good realisation already (Because I have a lot of Idols) so expect that you’ll be hearing more from my fangirl side. Heehee. Let me know if you can relate or if you’re close to that.

X

HERE’S TO ALL THE TEEN BLOGGERS I KNOW & I DON’T KNOW YET

There are like SO many amazing teen blogs that I still haven’t visited (but i really want to visit.)

I love teen bloggers because they’re the ones whom I can relate to. I’m still new here and am still coping with everything. I haven’t read that much blogs where I can get inspirations from but I am so looking forward to it. If you’re so nice to help me, can you recommend me a teen blog that you know? (Just comment it below) Or if you are one and you’d like me to visit your blog, just tell me also at the comment box below. I’d be so delighted to know some more teen blogs that I really want to reaaaad and get inspiration from. (Because google is not being so nice to me, she’s not giving me what I’m really looking for)

I am so excited and I am so happy if you’re reading this right now.

So much love from meย ๐Ÿ˜˜ย xxxx